Lately I’ve watched so many people experience something I know all too well from life with Bipolar II, though on a more condensed timeline than I’m used to:
You have a few days where you feel pretty okay. You’re productive, calm, can take most things in stride. The pandemic can’t last forever; there are good things to look forward to. You feel you’re adapting as well as can be expected. Life is weird as heck but you’re working with it.
Then you have one day (maybe two) where you can’t get out of bed. You don’t get anything done. You might just sleep. Everything is too much, especially the outside world…and the idea of ever leaving quarantine is almost as terrifying as the idea of it lasting a week longer. I saw someone on Twitter call these days the Hell Zone.
If this is happening to you, I am so sorry. Nobody should have to visit the Hell Zone, ever. It absolutely sucks that the one thing we can all do to make a positive impact out there – stay the heck home – is also a big contributing factor to depression!
If you pay any attention to the outside world at all the onslaught of uncertainty, outrage, and fear is relentless. Our poor neurotransmitters were not prepared for this. Fight-or-flight is one thing; “Scream impotently at the TV or cry on the toilet, repeat for three months” is another.
Some days, all you can do is breathe, and it turns out, that can be a huge help.
Breath work is almost instantly calming. Why? Well, think of how an animal breathes when she’s freaking out or just escaped a predator. Short breaths, shallow, high in the chest. Now think about how you breathe most of the time – for Americans it tends to be short breaths high in the chest. The way we breathe can put us in a constant low-level OMG-WTF-RUN! state.
The remedy is to breathe deep from your belly, getting your diaphragm involved, and let your chest be the last thing that fills up with air. Deep, slow breaths tell your body and brain that the threat has passed and you can let go of that pesky cortisol.
Working with my breath is fundamental to my spiritual practice. I learned the basic technique that I use courtesy of certified Zen badass Thich Nhat Hanh; in his writing he calls it “mindfulness verses.”
All you have to do is, as you inhale down to your belly, mentally recite “Breathing in, I…” followed by what you’d like to have happen or what you’re doing; then as you exhale at the same speed, think, “Breathing out, I…”
The simplest version:
“Breathing in, I know I am breathing in;
Breathing out, I know I am breathing out.”
Then you can up the stakes and invoke the state you want:
“Breathing in, I feel calm;
Breathing out, I feel safe.”
And so on. The important thing is that you’re bringing your attention to the act of breathing as well as the feeling you want to create within yourself. Timing chants or prayers with the breath is an easy way to intensify their effects on your mind and body as well as draw up more energy to put toward your goal.
I recently happened across a prayer that was a more Christianized version of Zen mindfulness verses; it was spoken to God, and it connected the in-breath with a positive attribute of the Almighty and the out-breath with something the practitioner wanted to give up to Him. I liked the idea, so I created one of my own, and I thought I would share it with you.
Take this idea and use it, adapt the wording to your own beliefs; take out “Your” if you’d rather not deal with personified Deity at all. But do give this kind of easy but powerful practice a try next time you feel unmoored, are having a Hell Zone Day, or just want to pause a moment and allow yourself to pause and reflect.
