I thought about just posting a recipe but nah. Let’s be silly.
Author: Dianne Sylvan
Smallish Bloggery Day 6: My Current Playlist
Typically during the day I have one big long playlist of my current favorites or whatever else I want to hear – I change it constantly. It’s about 3 hours long, and I won’t repost the whole thing here! Here are the top 20 off the list that I hit “repeat” on the most often.
- Latto – Big Energy
- Carly Rae Jepsen – Cut to the Feeling
- Niall Horan – Slow Hands
- Taylor Swift – Paper Rings
- Dua Lipa – IDGAF
- Maroon 5 – Back at Your Door
- Taylor Swift – Bejeweled
- Mimi Webb – Ghost of You
- Elton John w/Britney Spears – Hold Me Closer
- Los Lobos – La Bamba
- Big Mountain – Baby, I Love Your Way
- Lady Gaga – Paparazzi
- The All-American Rejects – Gives You Hell
- Taylor Swift – Message in a Bottle (Taylor’s Version)
- Ace of Base – The Sign
- Ed Sheeran – Shivers
- Lizzo – About Damn Time
- Sublime – What I Got
- Taylor Swift – Cruel Summer
- Charli XCX – Boom Clap
That’s today, anyway. Ask me again tomorrow and who knows what will be there!
Smallish Bloggery Day 5 – A 5 Senses Check-In
Right now where I am, I see
Three computer screens and an array of Funko! Pops. I am currently on a 15 minute break from my day job. I make it a policy that if I have to spend a third of my life somewhere it’s going to reflect my personality and have as much comfort and convenience as I can cram into it. Every desk I’ve ever had has had an arrangement of toys and, often, a tiny shrine of some sort. Right now I have a small Green Tara statue and a number of beloved stones I brought from home, as well as a carved lotus plaque a former teammate gave me.
I hear
In my earbuds: “Cruel Summer” by Taylor Swift. If I pause it I hear about a dozen people’s keyboards clickety-clacking.
I taste
The dregs of my Starbucks treat this morning: An iced vanilla oat milk latte. I don’t go to SB all that often these days for $$ reasons, but after a four-day weekend I had to bribe myself out of bed this morning.
I smell
Snickerdoodles, but there are unfortunately no cookes nearby; I had a mug full of Vanilla Spice Cheerios (This would totally be my Spice Girls name) for breakfast and it always leaves the area smelling faintly like chai or cookies.
I feel
Physically? Cold. This place is kept colder than Frosty’s left buttcheek. Also my hands are very dry and I need to lotion them (this is my current favorite). Mentally? Not too bad these days, all things considered.
See y’all tomorrow!
Smallish Bloggery Day 4 – I am proud of myself for…
Recently I backed out of a commitment.
I knew almost as soon as I offered to join in on this particular thing that I didn’t want to do it, but I tend to get overzealous about joining things when I’m in a good place, only to regret it intensely when I land back in the Shit Pit or have recently climbed out.
Never, ever make a commitment or any life decision at 3am or when you’re feeling awesome/awful. Trust me. I am aware of my need for approval and inclusion, and that it’s a trauma response and not something I want to act on without serious consideration, but I still say “sure!” when I mean “I adore you/I support this cause/I love the idea but I need to think it over.”
I’ve been having to slowly teach myself to really think about what I’m offering to do, and a) if I can actually do it with the time and energy I have, b) if I want to do it, and c) if I’m the right person for it. In this case the answer all three questions was a definite no.
In years past I would have stuck with it because I said I would and I’m terrified of both disappointing people and confrontation. The problem is that not standing up for myself results in more of both, because what I end up doing is hating every minute of the activity and resenting the people I promised I’d help. Then once I hit the Shit Pit again I end up dropping out anyway out of overwhelm, and of course that disappoints people! So I end up feeling terrible and causing problems down the line, closer to the deadline of whatever the project is, which to me is WAY worse than just saying “Sorry, I can’t” at the outset.
It’s only taken 46 years for me to get to the point where I am willing to risk ticking people off in order to do the right thing for myself. So while it was a small thing, I’m still proud of myself for doing it. 20s and 30s me would never have been able to speak up.
Smallish Bloggery Day 3 – A Movie That Makes Me Happy
The problem is that there are different kinds of “happy” movies, aren’t there? There are movies that are bittersweet, those that are hysterically funny, those with happy endings…those that are just fun the whole way through without too much emotional investment, and those that are emotional rollercoasters that have a feel-good ending. How to choose?
Rather than talk about movies that are truly warming to the heart or that have a message of any real sort, and since you already know how much I love Jurassic Park (it does make me happy), I picked one that is just a damn blast from start to finish and doesn’t ask more of the viewer than to sit back and have a good time.
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
If you can watch this movie without laughing your ass off, I’m just not sure about you. If you haven’t seen it, the basic idea is a group of teenagers in detention get zapped into an old video game (think the first Nintendo console) and suddenly become the game characters. They then have to go through each level of the game and win before they run out of lives (each has a health meter on their arm).
If for no other reason you need to see Jack Black play a prissy teenage girl – “Martha! Come look at my penis! This thing is CRAZY!”
The sequel (The Next Level) is fun too, but lacks a lot of the previous film’s charm. Welcome to the Jungle is just insanely funny and a big rollicking adventure – it has a few sweet moments and a sad one, but still, it’s not trying to change your life or say anything about the world. Watching the various actors channel their teenage counterparts (Dwayne Johnson is a nerdy boy with allergies, Chris Hart a big tough football player, they cover all your high school stereotype bases) is a blast.
Smallish Bloggery Day 2 – Currently Reading…
If I had all the time in the world I would want to read three books a month: One novel, one nonfiction to learn about something, and one spiritual/metaphysical/theological book. Wouldn’t that be nice?
I’m not going to push on that too hard though – I won’t be able to read a lot of books this month because I’m rather busy creating my own! I’d like to get back to reading more after ShadowSong is published, though.
I do have two books on my docket right now:
All that Remains by Sue Black – Barnes and Noble states, “It is a treat for CSI junkies, murder mystery and thriller readers, and anyone seeking a clear-eyed guide to a subject that touches us all.”
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens
What are you reading now? Drop it in the comments and inspire me!
31 Days of Smallish Bloggery – Day 1 – My goals for July
Welcome to July, where I plan to blog every day in short bursts. I’ve fiddled with the challenge from five years ago and changed a few things for various reasons, so, behold the revised and updated 30 Days:
Let’s begin!
My Goals for July
1 – This month I’m finishing the dollhouse! No, I mean it! All I have left is the roof and the windows, then the base around the front, which right now is bare foam board. The roof will be a big project because, well, I can either make a zillion shingles out of something (probably cereal box card) or I can thatch it (probably using an old towel). All the windows need attention. But I am very sure all of this can be done in the course of July.
2 – Time to truly knuckle down on the final Shadow World book. My goal is 30,000 words this month, hopefully more – that’s about four or five chapters? If I can do that for the next three months I’ll be done a month early. HAHAHHAHA we’ll see if that happens.
3 – I’m still aiming for zero delivered meals, but I think it’s more realistic to say, maybe, two per paycheck? I have to be honest with myself, and I think it’s going to be nearly impossible to avoid it 100% of the time. As a person with lifelong depressive disorder there are times I just cannot make food for myself. Ideally I’d have things like TV dinners and whatnot for those occasions, but I’m not exaggerating when I say when I’m in the Shit Pit I can’t even do that. I try to make cooking as easy on myself as possible, but sometimes too easy is still not easy enough. In those cases delivery is a godsend (and often a mood lifter).
4 – I want to get to my altar more. Always. I need to get back in the habit of actually doing stuff there instead of just thinking about it. I’m sure many of you can relate. Our current reality is fucking awful, let’s face it; survival requires marshaling our inner resources as much as the outer. I feel calmer and stronger when I’m more spiritually aligned. I make better decisions. I like who I am more, and that’s a very big deal.
That all seems doable, right?
July Blog Series!
A few years ago I created a monthlong challenge for myself – 31 days of prompts that would require a short (for me at least) post in response. I had a lot of fun with it, if I recall correctly. I gathered the prompts from all over the place, came up with a couple myself, and voila!
Not too long after that my entire blog got erased (my fault), so I have no idea what my posts were for that entire month. Because of that, and the fact that I know my answers will have changed by now, I’ve decided to do the challenge again here in July 2023!
There might also be some regular old long-winded posts in there this month but you should at least see something from me every day.
I’m excited about it. I hope you will be too – oh, and you’re welcome to grab the list and play along as well, whether in a blog or on Instagram or whatever format you prefer. Let me know if you do!
***NOTE: Day 17 will be changed to something else, as I no longer deal in Potterdom. Oh, and I haven’t been on Twitter for over a year so I’ll probably do Instagram or YT for day 24.
Ritual Tools in My Practice
Most forms of Neopaganism use ritual tools to one extent or another, and a great many are similar across traditions. The nice thing about that is once you are familiar with the standard tool set and the general outline of Pagan rituals you can attend a Circle with just about any group and at least have a pretty good idea what’s going on.
Like most baby Witches I used to be really into the tools of the Craft (Except wands. I always felt silly using a wand.). Altar-building was and still is one of my favorite forms of sacred art. Taking down, cleaning, and rebuilding my altar is a very important ritual in my personal tradition (I even managed to make a video about it once!)…but now, in my 30th year as a Witchy type (holy smokes!), there are only a handful of tools I use, and most of them are only glancingly similar to the traditional Wiccan toolkit.
Most particularly I have left off the use the ritual blade common to most Neopagan trads, most often referred to as an athame. I have one that I have loved for decades, with a black blade and an ebony handle, but I just don’t use it anymore, mostly because I don’t do a lot of full-out ritual. I work in my bedroom, in a corner where my altar is a folding desk (in deference to my bad back and knees); I don’t usually cast a Circle any bigger than where I’m sitting. I can do that just fine without waving a knife around.
To me an athame is a fantastic tool for groups – it helps them focus energy, visualize the Circle, and be aware of the dual nature of power and responsibility. But as I practice 99% solitary my old pointy friend is currently wrapped up in my box full of old ritual cords, pendants, and other objects I’ve gathered on my spiritual travels.
I only have a few tools that I really use. What I do have a lot of are pretties – Goddess statues, including my collection of small figures that I call my Wee-ities; natural objects; altar cloths I change out seasonally (or whenever I feel like it), symbols of my particular brand of divinity; divinatory toys and accoutrements; and a framed image of Kore/Persephone by Anette Pirso that I turn depending on the season.
My Current Tool Lineup
Prayer Beads – I have two sets that I use, one for the darker half of the year and one for the lighter, although sometimes I just grab the strand that calls to me at the time. I made one and purchased the other online. They’re a powerful meditative tool for me and I have a number of prayer cycles, gathas, and mantra-type recitations that I use. I loosely based the original design of my handmade set on the Catholic Rosary – it has different sized/styled beads and several divisions to make counting easier rather than being a strand of all the same size like many malas. They’re also not loops – I don’t wear them or anything like that – just a straight line.
Chalice – but not one for drinking out of. It has a candle in it which I light every time I sit down at my altar (and sometimes just for comfort). The flaming chalice is the primary symbol of Unitarian Universalism. It has different meanings to different people; I think of it as the light of justice and knowledge held in the palm of the Goddess (since the chalice usually is treated as a feminine tool in the Craft), and looped in by diversity. (The two circles represented the Unitarians merging with the Universalists.)
I have two on my altar right now: One that my church gave me when I became a member, and a vintage one I bought that is the centerpiece of the altar. I do sometimes drink things in ritual but I’ll bring in a different vessel for that.
Pentacle – Mine is a flat wooden disk with the symbol painted on along with representations of the Elements and the Triple Moon. I made it myself from a plain wood piece. I use it primarily as a focus during spellwork; I place whatever I’m charging onto it and channel energy into the object through the pentacle. I also consider it the anchor point of my Circle, like its center of gravity.
Incense Burner – I am not a fan of charcoal tablet incense; it’s very evocative but it’s also high maintenance. I prefer sticks most of the time and have a small plant pot full of sand into which I stick a whole mess of sticks in different scents that I can just spark up whenever I want just to make the room smell and feel good. I also have a variety of purpose-made sticks for magical work.
Divinatory Tool – Most often I keep my Light Seer’s Tarot near to hand but sometimes I switch it out for the Shadowscapes deck.
Candles – There is a novena candle on either side of my altar that’s really just there for light. Those along with the light in the chalice are usually plenty to see by.
Dragon – The unsung hero of Pagan life: The long-necked lighter. I have one that hangs on the wall next to my altar at all times.
Bell – A dear friend gave me a gorgeous metal bell many years ago that has the loveliest tone; whenever I’m doing something a bit more formal or am cleansing my altar I hold the bell over the surface and ring it once. That baby vibrates energy like nobody’s business!
And that’s pretty much it aside from whatever magical or seasonal accoutrements I have around the altar. The decorative items are very important in their own right; I can change the whole mood of my room and myself just by shifting the colors or seasonal objects. I’m always fiddling about with what’s there.
I suppose I should include my chair as a vital ritual tool since it holds the most important part of all: My big ol’ Witchy booty. After all, tools are only as good as the person using them. A stick is just a stick until you choose to dedicate it as a wand.
And here’s the video I made a couple of years ago showing all my altar stuff. It looks a bit different now but the layout is still the same.
Depth Year May Check-in & Pics of the Dollhouse Bath
The year is almost halfway over, and I have already decided that some of my “depth year” stuff isn’t working for me. Some things that I thought I wanted to stop doing, turns out I’m fine with continuing, for one reason or another. I think I need a goal refresh for the 2nd half of 2023.
Some no-buy categories I definitely want to continue, some not so much.
Books – I’m going to continue my new book embargo until I’ve had the time and energy to go through my current library and a) reorganize b) cull out anything I don’t want. But there are a few books coming out later this year that I really want to get, so, saying NO BOOKS ALL YEAR seems a bit extreme. Being mindful and deliberate in my purchasing I think is a better way to go (with, like, everything).
Washi Tape – I’m totally fine with keeping this ban in place. I definitely don’t need any more washi. I’m kind of curious by the end of the year how much of what I have I’ll have actually used; I’ve been super focused on the dollhouse so I haven’t done much that required pretty tape, but that project will be done with pretty soon.
Miniatures – Nope. Gotta abandon this one. Like I said, the dollhouse is almost done, and there are small bits I need to consider it finished; there is structural work and exteriors that need attention but the rest is all decorative. I did really enjoy making all the little toiletries and stuff for the bathroom (pics below) but there are some things I just can’t make without losing my mind in the process. Not to mention, I’m already planning my next project (something much smaller) that I’ll need to restock for, so, I think it’s best to just yeet this whole no-buy category.
Delivery food – Sweet lord. I have GOT to lay off ordering out. It’s so stupidly expensive and unhealthy – I want to put a little more focus on my health this summer, and one thing I can definitely do is cook more of my own meals (or at least put together meals at home). I want to talk about that in its own post soon. I’d really like to go the whole month without ordering out more than maybe once.
Dollhouse Progress in May:
I basically did the whole bathroom, and made almost everything myself except the toilet. I’m really happy with the room overall. I did finish that second wardrobe for the bedroom, and I did some work on the windows (I still haven’t decided if I’m going to put “glass” in them, but they needed better framing for sure) and a window box for the kitchen. In June: Finish the outside of the house. Get the roof cut and glued and prepped for shingling or whatever I end up doing. Make doors. If at all possible, finish the whole project and create a video tour.
Writing Progress:
If you missed it, I announced that the 8th Shadow World book will be out on my birthday this year. I might have been utterly bonkerdoodles doing that, but I work well under deadlines. June will be devoted to establishing a schedule for work on the book and hopefully getting a few chapters done and building momentum. Meanwhile I plan to keep blogging at least once a week.
Favorite Things in May:
1. I finished reading one of the books I mentioned last month! It was my very first book on process theology, and it took so long to read because I was furiously highlighting and making notes and sitting with the ideas as I read them. It’s called She Who Changes: Re-Imagining the Divine in the World by noted goddess scholar Carol P. Christ. I’m planning to find more sources, including some of the foundation texts of the movement. But was a soul-thundering book, and has already had a profound effect on how I look at things, changing a lot of the scenery on my spiritual path.
2. This adorable tea bag/spoon rest I found on Etsy. There are lots of things in this shop I’d love to have but this little guy makes me smile whenever I see it on my table. The seller makes a lot of inexpensive gifts with multiple color options. If you’re as much of a sucker for little plates and bowls as I am, you should definitely check out ShoeHouseStudio.
Things to Do in June:
1. See paragraphs on dollhouse and writing. Those will be the big things to occupy my time and energy.
2. I do also want to steer my diet back in a more healthful direction; I might have another go at meal planning. I’ve never been able to make it work for me, but the right method might be just around the corner.
3. Finish reading Where the Crawdads Sing.
Happy June-ing!
